Why Creativity Feels So Different as an Adult

As kids, creativity felt like play. Wild. Free. Unfiltered.
But something shifts as we grow. Expectations sneak in. Pressure replaces passion.
I’ve been thinking about why that happens and how I’m slowly finding my way back.

They say what we lacked most in our childhood is what we crave the most as adults.
For me, it was growth and freedom. I lived in my own head, in my comfort zone as a child preferring not to socialize, and instead choosing to draw, read comics, or play video games. I craved friendships, but I didn’t feel like I was good at it. Being raised in a dysfunctional family didn’t help either.

As I grew older, I felt so uncertain about life I didn’t know how to cope with it. So I started learning, trying to understand the world better, whether it was through books or documentaries. Even as a kid, I was ambitious and curious, constantly wanting to learn new things and work on my drawings all day. Even now, I miss the moments of having that kind of drive. It’s not the same anymore.

As adults, I think there’s a part of us that truly belongs to us but it slowly gets shed away as society tells you how to be or what to say.
For example: “Men shouldn’t cry.” “Women should be polite and soft-spoken.” “Don’t challenge anyone.”
This made me feel like the black sheep all my life, because I was never any of those things. I couldn’t fit in nor did I want to. Even if it did affect me at times. But perhaps that was a good thing. Perhaps that’s why I’m becoming a better artist day by day.

I think art has helped me heal in so many ways.
With all the noise and chaos in the world, art becomes a meditative activity where I can get lost in my own world. Even when I’m going through something, and I need to express those difficult feelings, art and writing always seem to find a way to release that tension inside me, like some kind of magical power. I’m truly amazed by its work. I hope my art can help others heal in the same way it does for me.

I admit, things changed a lot when I chose art as a career. After trying different jobs here and there in different fields, I realized art was what I wanted to choose in the end. After years of losing touch with it, I started again and I never stopped after that.
Although I admit, I did feel like I changed a bit.
I didn’t draw like I used to as a kid. I drew what I felt like I “should” what the algorithm wanted, what would prove myself, or what I should be better at by now.
This is what I meant when I said we shed parts of ourselves as we grow older. It’s easy to get lost chasing validation or doing what works.
But art is meant to express what’s within us and what we want to do.

I’m still on the journey of getting back in touch with that side of me.
Come join me if you’d like to experience this along with me.